U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
