This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
