Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
