all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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