Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
