He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
