jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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