Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
