i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
