Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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