i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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