Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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