Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Moan for me like Helen Keller
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
