"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
