Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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