I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
