i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
