i would punch a child for taco bell
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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