Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
no you cant smoke seaweed
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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