so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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