I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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