Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We had to coat check the pizza.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
