So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
