well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
