just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
