there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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