Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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