We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
