I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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