Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I want to stick my p in your. b.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
