SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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