Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
