i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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