God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
