i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
