I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
