Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
