hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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