Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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