I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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