So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
