Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
