I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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