So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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