My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
