she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
