so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Your penis caused this!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
