After last night, I could never be a politician.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
