Small penises have feelings too.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
