Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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