i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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